Title: Commando

Director: Mark L. Lester

Released: October 4, 1985

Watched via: Streaming on STARZ

IMDb Synopsis: A retired Special Forces colonel tries to save his daughter, who was abducted by his former subordinate.

John Matrix (Arnold) is trying to live a new life in a secluded mountain home with his daughter, Jenny (Alyssa Milano). But, when you are retired special forces, the past is never truly behind you. Matrix is visited by his former commanding officer, General Kirby (James Olson), who informs him that his former team is being picked off one-by-one.

While Kirby leaves Matrix, Matrix’s home is instantly ambushed, and he and Jenny are captured. Its here that Matrix comes face to face with a ghost from his past. His former lieutenant, Bennett (Vernon Wells), has faked his death and is working with Arius (Dan Hedaya), a former South American dictator that Matrix helped to overthrow.

So, what is John Matrix to do? Well, if he wants to see Jenny again, he’s going to have to help Arius kill the sitting President of the unnamed South American country in the next twenty-four hours. Seeing as he doesn’t really have a choice, Matrix reluctantly agrees to help. However, Matrix has a plan of his own he seeks to carry out with the help of an off-duty pilot named Cindy (Rae Dawn Chong).

So, what’s this grand plan? To hunt down each of Arius’ men and rescue his daughter.

If you’ve seen any movie in Arnie’s filmography, you can guess what happens next. Yep, that’s right, we get a solid seventy-odd minutes of 80s action cheesiness and it’s fantastic.

What a wild way to start a movie. Two assassinations in the first five minutes and barely any dialogue to give context to them.

What are we watching?

Why is this happening?

And with that, the tone has been set for the next 90minutes. Just buckle up, shut off your brain, and have some fun.

Now let’s be real, nobody watches Arnold Schwarzenegger movies for the plot. (If so, well, I’m sorry.) So, to spend any amount of time pointing out the various holes in the plot feels like wasted energy. If you are settling in for an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie, you’re here for two things: explosions and one-liners. And you’re in luck because Arnie gives us copious amounts of both.

The one-liners come fast and quick while never letting up. A few of my favorites include:

“Don’t disturb my friend, he’s dead tired.”

“Let off some steam, Bennett.“

“Wrong.“

Now, when it comes to action sequences, the best is saved for last. Yes, we have action sequences to start the movie. And yes, we’re given some absolute gems sprinkled in throughout. But it’s the final act that really steps up to the plate and delivers what we all come to see with an Arnie movie.

That’s right, it’s when Matrix and Cindy steal the sea plane to sneak into Arius’ fortress that we’re given the goods. Arnold Schwarzenegger is armed to the gills and ready to kick some butt. He is a one-man army and there isn’t a man alive who stands a chance at stopping him.

The ending plays out exactly as one would expect. But here’s the thing, it only works if it’s exactly what we expect. Otherwise, the movie falls apart at the seams.

John Matrix leaves a trail of bodies on the island and Jenny is back in her father’s arms. We even get a cheesy 80s outro song as Matrix, Jenny, and Cindy all board the plane to leave the island. You know, in case you needed reassurance that we were getting a happy ending.

So, what did I think? I think that Commando (1985) ticks all the right boxes when it comes to an 80s action flick. Plenty of action? Check. But what about one-liners? As we discussed earlier, check and check. Just for fun, how about we throw in an added bonus. Unlike a lot of action movies today, this is a tight ninety minutes. I never found myself bored, watching the clock, or impatiently waiting for the ending. Why? Well, there is no fluff or time to check and see how much time is left. Because, if you did it right, you went in with your brain already shut off and were ready to just have fun.

Whether you’ve seen it before or it will be a first-time viewing, there are definitely worse ways to spend ninety minutes. So, seek it out on STARZ and give your brain an hour and a half break.

So, have you seen Commando (1985)? If so, what are thoughts on it? What was your favorite one-liner? Where does this rank for you in Arnie’s filmography? Tell me all about it in the comments below or by reaching out on social media!

And with that, “C” is in the books. Next up, the letter “D”. Do you have a suggestion for what I should cover? If so, let me know what it is and where it can be streamed. You will have roughly 72 hours from now to submit any suggestions. Come Wednesday evening, I’ll be revealing what the movie for next Sunday will be.

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